When she had her first baby, her mother was nowhere near her. Not because she was far away. Not because she was unwell. She had simply decided that her other daughter’s home was more worth her time.
A Nigerian woman has shared a story that has clearly been sitting with her for a while, and the details of it have struck a nerve with a lot of people online.
She explained that during her first pregnancy, she and her husband were living in a one-bedroom apartment. It was modest but decent, she noted, enough to have an air conditioner and the basic comforts of home.
When the time came for omugwo, the traditional postpartum support that mothers typically provide for their daughters after childbirth, hers chose not to come. The reason she gave was that she preferred to stay with her other daughter, whose husband was significantly wealthier and whose home offered a more comfortable environment.
Both sisters were pregnant at roughly the same time. The mother picked one.
When this woman eventually gave birth, her mother barely acknowledged it. There was no visit, no meaningful gesture, very little in the way of the support that a new mother, especially a first-time one, needs most. Her sister-in-law stepped in and handled the omugwo instead.
The months that followed were not easy. Her husband lost his job and spent over a year transitioning into a new line of work, sending whatever he could while he found his footing. She kept things moving with a small business of her own and occasional help from her sister. Through all of it, her mother, who had also opposed the marriage from the beginning, stayed away and never once checked in on them.
Then things changed. Her husband stabilised, started getting contracts, and the household found its rhythm. And now, pregnant again, she has received a message from her mother. She wants to come for omugwo this time.
The answer was no. Her sister-in-law will be handling it, just as she did the first time.
She did not frame it as bitterness. It came across more like a decision made from a clear-eyed place, the kind of boundary that forms naturally when someone shows you, without ambiguity, where you stand during the hardest season of your life.
Watch the video below.
