He asked England to play with a smile, made the locals frown by benching Morgan Gibbs-White and then spent much of the evening grimacing beneath the peak of a thinking cap that offered precious few answers. Thomas Tuchel, your honeymoon period is over. Best swap that cap for a crash helmet.
In truth, the honeymoon ended on Saturday with a 1-0 win over Andorra that was so unconvincing it felt more like a defeat. Well, here was an actual defeat, and a deserved one at that.
It used to be said that England would beat the rest and lose to the best. Now, they are losing to those who populate the middle ground. Senegal are 19th in the FIFA rankings, one place below Iran. Gareth Southgate‘s England beat both of those easily at the 2022 World Cup. But Senegal were too bright for Tuchel’s side here at the City Ground. Too quick. Too skilful. Put simply, too good.
England may have an excuse, as Harry Kane claims, for being tired at the end of a ‘long, hard season’. But here is a reminder: the World Cup also takes place at the end of a long, hard season – will you be tired then, too?
In reality, England have played tired for a long time now. The sun doesn’t have to be shining for our star names to wilt in white. For all Southgate sought to lighten the weight of the jersey – and he did so successfully – it’s as if we’re back to the days of it being stitched with lead. You watch them and wonder why it all looks so unenjoyable, like children dropped off at school in the summer holidays.
They really think they’ll be able to turn it on like a tap in 12 months’ time? Sorry, lads, the reserves will be dry then. The notion of all being OK in the distance is a mirage. Football isn’t Netflix. You put the hard yards in now and those travelled down the line feel that little bit shorter.
Thomas Tuchel’s England honeymoon is over after a 3-1 home defeat at the hands of Senegal
It was said England would beat the best of the rest – now they are losing to the middle ground
Tuchel made the locals frown by benching Morgan Gibbs-White and had precious few answers
Harry Kane said his side’s players wee tired after a ‘long, hard season’ – but the World Cup is also at the end of a season
Staff can have all the data they like on core body temperatures, but if England’s players continue to run cold like this, they might as well take a match to the numbers, because the scoreline will trump the science. And why is there an assumption that England will go to Albania and Serbia in their autumn qualifiers and win? The more you see of them, the less sure you become of their direct passage to North America. They’re getting worse, not better.
Tuchel knows as much. He looked tormented at times here. There was a lot of clapping above his head in the first half. Loud clapping. Thunderclaps, almost, the sort that make you look and wonder why he is being so appreciative when England still have the ball in their own half.
But the bar for improvement was low. The sight of his team emerging from a dark alley near their own corner flag and into daylight was pleasing for Tuchel. He returned to the dugout, though, when his players then staggered down a blind alley.
He looked like he wanted to pull his hair out when Declan Rice later played a ball straight out of play, but had to make do with tugging on the threads of his cap. He wasn’t thrilled either when Conor Gallagher ran through the middle and arrived at a fork in the road – pass left and Anthony Gordon is in the clear or choose the scenic route to the right and ask Bukayo Saka to beat three men. We all watched in pained silence as Saka fell at the third hurdle.
That was going forward, but his greater concerns were in defence. Tuchel named three right backs in his squad and did not start any of them in that position on Saturday. He did this time, and at least Kyle Walker’s performance provided the manager with an answer to one of his many questions – that being, don’t start Kyle Walker.
He has always been too dependent on his pace to dig him out of a hole. When the legs don’t scurry as quickly as they once did, a laboured mind is exposed. When Senegal equalised late in the first half, it was Walker caught on his heels – which isn’t great up against Ismaila Sarr, a forward who plays exclusively on his toes. The best all do – and the best will be at the World Cup, by which time Walker will be 36.
It’s time, you feel, to present the defender with a framed shirt at Wembley, even if that does fall a few caps shy of a century. So there is one positive to come from this, even if it is a negative.
And what of Ivan Toney, belatedly introduced in the 88th minute? He, you assume, has either trained like a player who has spent a season in the Saudi Pro League, or he spat out one of Tuchel’s biometric tablets. The striker was included so the manager could take a good look at him. He must not like what he has seen.
Saying that, he can’t like much of what he has witnessed these past few days. Tired? That is nothing more than a tired excuse.
