“My beloved son, my pride and my joy,
How do I find the words to speak about a pain that words cannot explain?
How do I accept that the child I carried in my womb, gave birth to,
nurtured, watched grow and prayed for has been taken away from me at
only twenty years of age?
You were my firstborn son. You were the one who gave me the beautiful
experience of becoming a mother.
From the moment you came into my
life, you brought a special joy that words can never fully describe.
Watching you grow from a little boy into a young man was one of the
greatest blessings of my life.
My son, you had dreams. You had plans for your future. You were studying Law at Central University, preparing yourself for a promising life ahead. I looked forward to seeing you graduate; become the lawyer you dreamed of becoming, and make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.
But today, instead of preparing for your graduation and celebrating your
achievements, I am preparing to say goodbye to you.
Your death remains difficult for me to understand. The circumstances
surrounding your passing are unexplained, and that uncertainty makes the pain even harder to bear. A mother is never prepared to bury her child, especially a son who had so much life ahead of him.
I keep asking myself, “Why my son? Why now? Why did this have to
happen?” There are questions in my heart that may never have answers.
But even in my grief and confusion, I choose to thank God for the twenty
years He allowed me to have you.
Twenty years may seem too short, but the memories you gave me will last
a lifetime.
I will remember your smile. I will remember your voice. I will remember your presence in our home. I will remember your dreams and ambitions. I will remember the young man you were becoming.
You were not simply my firstborn son. You were a precious part of me. A piece of my heart went with you when you left this world. There are so many things I wish I could still tell you. I wish I could hug you one more time. I wish I could hear you call
me “Mum” again.
I wish I could see you walk through the door and tell me about your day at the university. If love could bring you back, you would be here with me today.
My son, although I do not understand why your life ended so suddenly, I take comfort in knowing that you were loved deeply. You touched the lives of your family, friends, classmates and everyone who knew you. Your life, though brief, had meaning.
Your brothers will forever miss your food. You always told me to relax because the chef was in whenever you realised I was tired. I will miss our jokes, laughs and singing. I am unable to listen to songs since you left, but I know you will be singing with the angels in Heaven.
I am proud of you, my son. I am proud of the young man you became and of the dreams you carried in your heart.
As your mother, I will carry you with me for the rest of my life. I will speak your name. I will tell your story. I will cherish your memories. And whenever I look at the family, I will remember that you will always be part of us.
My dear son, you came into this world as my firstborn, and you will forever hold that special place in my heart.
Rest peacefully, my beloved son.
Your dreams of becoming a lawyer may have been interrupted here on earth, but the love you gave us will never die.
Sleep peacefully, my son.
Sleep peacefully, Ivan.
Until we meet again, you will forever remain in my heart.
Ama,
Your loving Mother
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