A Nigerian man and father named Nkwocha Tochukwu has strongly advised women against marrying men who expect them to put their careers on hold after they give birth.
The post was an indirect response to a controversial statement made by life coach Solomon Buchi, where he shared his belief, that a woman should sacrifice 7 years of their career to raise her child after childbirth.
In a long and detailed post, Tochukwu expressed his views on why men who want their partners to give up their careers to take care of the home are not worth marrying.
Using himself as an example, he argues that both parents are needed to care for a child and the home, and the responsibility does not fall on the mother alone.
He argued that after the birth of a child, there is nothing that a woman can provide that a man cannot, and he even mentioned ways to manage the first few months of a baby’s development when it is reliant on the mother for breast milk.
He wrote;
“If you like marry a man that thinks it’s okay to pause your life for 7 years to take care of the child that belongs to two of you. Apart from carrying a baby and birthing it in the delivery room, there is no post birth care that a woman can provide that a man cannot.
Women can express their breast milk, refrigerate it in containers and you the man can feed the baby at the appropriate times.
That men have traditionally not been as involved as they should in their kids lives does not make it right. If you want your kids to love and care for you later in life the way they care for their mother, make sure you are as invested as their mother in their lives. And this, as early as possible.
My kids are 6 and 3 respectively and I am extremely involved in their lives. There’s nothing my wife does that I don’t do. My wife cannot be worrying that our kids would go hungry because her husband cannot make their food. Or that they will be unkempt cos her husband can’t bath or clean them up.
Don’t allow anyone to put rubbish thoughts in your head. If you the man can’t pause your life and career for 7 years, don’t expect it from another person. Thats simply the golden rule.
The post:
