You learn more about the state of the nation from downpage stories in the newspapers than you ever do from the TV news bulletins and the grandstanding, stage-managed political press conferences inside the Bubble.
For instance, while Keir Starmer was promoting his perverse vision of ‘community cohesion’, back in the real world my attention was drawn to yet another depressing example of Basket Case Britain.
Lollipop ladies are being fitted with bodycams following a series of ‘horrific’ incidents of abuse and assaults by motorists and cyclists.
If like me you live in London or one of our other big cities you’ll probably shrug and conclude that it was only a matter of time. Short-tempered drivers have been driven to distraction by the demented war on motorists prosecuted by councils in pursuit of revenue from fines.
That, of course, is no excuse for taking it out on lollipop ladies, but it is an explanation.
Militant cyclists are the worst of the worst, blatantly ignoring the rules of the road, screaming abuse at anyone who gets in their way, pedestrians included, even on pavements, at red lights and on zebra crossings.
That’s just the way it is in the urban jungle. But the bodycams in question aren’t being issued to crossing patrol staff in the inner cities.
No, we’re talking Suffolk here, hardly until recently considered a walk on the wild side. The county council is giving cameras to 55 lollipop men and women who have been spat at, subjected to volleys of screeched obscenities and left terrified for simply doing their job – helping schoolchildren cross the road.
In another depressing example of Basket Case Britain, lollipop ladies are being fitted with bodycams following a series of ‘horrific’ incidents of abuse and assaults by motorists and cyclists, writes Richard Littlejohn
Body camera footage shows a driver narrowly missing a lollipop lady and pedestrians in Hertfordshire
If self-righteous cyclists are the worst of the worst, then lollipop men and women are among the best of us – often retired and working for a pittance because they want to give something back to the community. They deserve better than this.
Sadly, pig-ignorant motorists and cyclists feel that lollipop ladies are fair game because they know they are likely to get away with it.
Not so long ago, there would have been a local bobby on the beat, casting a watchful eye over the crossing, his very presence deterring bad behaviour.
No longer. In Suffolk alone, the number of Community Support Officers – not even proper coppers – has fallen by 75 per cent over the past decade. The police everywhere have withdrawn from the streets, not just in largely rural counties but in urban and suburban areas, too.
They are reactive, not proactive, relying on gawping at CCTV images after the event – hence bodycams for lollipop ladies. That’s if they can be bothered, which most of the time they can’t.
I can’t remember the last time I saw a copper patrolling our local shopping parade in north London. As I wrote here a while ago, there was a machete fight outside our neighbourhood chippie involving a couple of gangs who had travelled from Tottenham and Enfield. It was caught on camera by the CCTV on the shop next door. But, to the best of my knowledge, no one has ever been nicked.
I wasn’t surprised to read that Tesco has been forced to fix security tags to, wait for it, Oxo cubes, writes Littlejohn
When I went for my flu jab, the lovely ladies who work at the pharmacy told me that youths regularly walked in off the streets and helped themselves to perfumes etc, with impunity.
The cops weren’t interested. Some of the shops have installed locked doors with electronic entry systems and now will only admit known, trusted customers.
So I wasn’t surprised to read in The Mail on Sunday that Tesco has been forced to fix security tags to, wait for it, Oxo cubes.
Really? Who can be bothered to nick Oxo cubes, which only cost £2.85 a pack? Then again, why wouldn’t they? The Old Bill don’t do shoplifting any more, considering any theft less than a couple of hundred quid beneath them. They’ve got better things to do, like scouring the internet for ‘hate’ speech, against peace-loving Muslims in particular.
As a Tesco worker in Croydon told the MoS: ‘A few weeks ago one man came in and stole some items and the police actually saw him and stopped him.
‘They took him down the road, but when they turned left they just let him go. He came back within ten minutes and was stealing again. We couldn’t believe it.’
I can, trust me.
Look, I know this is serious but I couldn’t help laughing when I read that it’s only beef-flavoured Oxo cubes being half-inched. Vegetarian and low-salt versions are always left behind on the shelves. You couldn’t etc…
So while Surkeir prattles on about ‘community cohesion’ – a convenient and divisive smokescreen for appeasing militant Muslim ‘community leaders’ – genuinely cohesive rural and suburban communities are contemptuously ignored.
Out here in the real world, in Basket Case Britain, frightened lollipop ladies are being fitted with bodycams and thieves are nicking Oxo cubes with impunity under the noses of an indifferent and largely absent police ‘service’.
What was I saying last week? Makes you proud to be British.
It’s bad enough Spurs deservedly staring down the barrel of relegation, with our North London neighbours Arsenal looking nailed on to win the Premier League and – heaven forfend – the quadruple. About the only thing which will stop them is if Tehran decides to bomb the Emirates stadium.
Enter The Dragon, er, still stuck in harbour
Who thought it was a good idea to paint a giant red dragon on the side of the warship stranded in Portsmouth harbour? It looked like a cross between a Welsh footballer’s forearm and a third-rate Banksy forgery.
Then again, why was the Chief of the Defence Staff wearing camouflage kit while being interviewed in Whitehall at the weekend?
Call me old-fashioned, but if not the full Sid James in Carry On Up The Khyber, I do expect the brass hats to dress appropriately. Camo is fine on the front line, but he could at least have worn his smart Number 2 dress uniform. I don’t want to denigrate our brave service members, even though they are apparently being urged to wear make-up and nail varnish in the line of duty these days – including the men – all in the name of diversity.
Fine pair of fishnets, Gunner Parkin, show ’em off, show ’em off. And I know money’s tight. But, still, they shouldn’t have to go shopping at Army surplus stores for their uniforms.
The generals have warned that they need £28 billion over the next few years to get the military up to strength. So here’s a plan.
The craven Chagos surrender involves bunging Mauritius at least £39 billion for the privilege of taking the islands off our hands. Dump that disastrous deal and give the dosh to the Armed Forces instead.
At the very least, it’ll buy some decent uniforms – and it’ll keep the Paras in nail varnish for years to come.
At last some good news for Jeffrey Epstein’s close friend Andrew MW. He may have been stripped of his royal titles, honorary and ceremonial positions and kicked out of his home in Windsor Great Park.
He’s lucky not to be living in a cardboard box outside Coutts Bank in The Strand.
But he is expected to keep his Freedom of the City of London, which entitles him to drive sheep across the Thames.
The ex-prince, formerly known as Randy Andy, continues to deny taking advantage of Epstein’s harem of young women. So it must come as a great comfort to know that at least he’s still trusted around sheep.
There must be an Islamic law which insists the leader of Iran is called Khomeini/Khamenei or a variant thereof. Meet the new Ayatollah, same as the old Ayatollah, but only while stocks last.
