In an emotionally-charged revelation from beyond the grave, comedian Paul Reubens shares a tragic message that lays bare his pain over the controversies that haunted his life.
In his recorded statement, Reubens reflects on the devastation of being branded a ‘pedophile’ after his arrests in the 1990s and 2000s – a label he says shattered his life after finding love in hearts of millions as the whimsical Pee-wee Herman.
‘The moment I heard someone label me as – I’m just going to say it – a pedophile, I knew it was going to change everything moving forward and backward,’ he confesses.
The words, delivered posthumously in the film, now have an added poignancy.
For Reubens, the accusation was more than a blow to his career; it was a defining scar that reshaped his identity in the public eye.
‘More than anything, the reason I wanted to make a documentary was to let people see who I really am and how painful and difficult it was to be labeled something that I wasn’t,’ he says.
Recorded just one day before his death in 2023, the haunting statement echoes in HBO Documentary Films’ ‘Pee-wee as Himself’, which premiered on Thursday at the Sundance Film Festival.
Reubens’ final words reflect his aching desire for understanding and redemption.
In an emotionally charged revelation from beyond the grave, Paul Reubens beloved by millions as the whimsical Pee-wee Herman left behind a heartbreaking message that lays bare his pain over the controversies that haunted his life
In his recorded statement, Reubens reflects on the devastation of being branded a ‘pedophile’ after his arrests in the 1990s and 2000s – a label he says shattered his life. Paul Reubens rides a bike in a scene from the film ‘Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure’ in 1985
‘I wanted to talk about and have some understanding of what it’s like to be labeled a pariah, to have people scared of you, or unsure of you, or untrusting, or to look at what your intentions are through some kind of filter that’s not true,’ he says.
‘I wanted people to understand that occasionally, where there is smoke, there isn’t always fire.’
The message was recorded without any prompting from producers and saw him tape it while on his own.
His words serve as both a defense and a plea – and a desperate attempt to rewrite the narrative of his life after his voice had already been silenced.
The documentary, directed by Matt Wolf, offers an unflinching look at Reubens’ meteoric rise to fame, his crushing fall from grace, and his desperate yearning for the world to see him as he truly was.
The two-part docuseries dives deep into Reubens’ life, helped by more than 40 hours of interviews and his extensive personal archive of photos and videos.
Yet, even as Reubens bared much of himself to the filmmakers, he withheld one critical truth – his private battle with cancer, a diagnosis he kept secret until his death and not known even to the filmmakers, reports the LA Times.
Through candid interviews and archival footage, ‘Pee-wee as Himself’ looks the pivotal moments that led to Reubens’ public disgrace.
The film delves into his 1991 arrest for indecent exposure at an adult theater in Sarasota, Florida, pictured in his mugshot above. The film also looks at his 2002 arrest on charges of possessing child pornography – charges that were later dropped
The film suggests Reubens became a victim of a homophobic cultural backlash. Pictured, Pee Wee’s Playhouse’ on CBS was a children’s television show starring Paul Reubens and John Paragon. Pictured here in 1986
Created for the stage, Pee-wee with his white chunky loafers and red bow tie became a cultural constant in both adult and children’s entertainment for much of the 1980s.
The film delves into his 1991 arrest for indecent exposure at an adult theater in Sarasota, Florida, and his 2002 arrest on charges of possessing child pornography – charges that were later dropped.
He was handed a small fine but the damage to his career was incalculable.
He became the frequent butt of late-night talk show jokes and the perception of Reubens immediately changed.
‘The moment that I realized my name was going to be said in the same sentence as “children” and “sex”, that´s really intense,’ Reubens told NBC in 2004. ‘That’s something I knew from that very moment, whatever happens past that point, something’s out there in the air that is really bad.’
In both instances the documentary suggests Reubens became a victim of a homophobic cultural backlash.
Reubens’ publicist, Kelly Bush Novak, describes the 2002 case as a ‘homophobic witch hunt,’ accusing then – City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo of misconstruing Reubens’ collection of vintage gay erotica as child pornography.
Although the charges were reduced to a misdemeanor obscenity plea, the damage to Reubens’ reputation was already done.
For three years, he was required to register as a sex offender, a punishment that reinforced his alienation from both the industry and the public.
For three years Paul Reubens was required to register as a sex offender, a punishment that reinforced his alienation from both the industry and the public. Reubens is pictured on location filming ‘Pee-wee’s Big Holiday’ in May 2015
Once hailed as the charming and eccentric star of Pee-wee’s Playhouse, Reubens found himself labeled a ‘deviant’ and ‘pervert’
His earlier arrest in 1991 for indecent exposure was similarly catastrophic.
Once hailed as the charming and eccentric star of Pee-wee’s Playhouse, Reubens found himself labeled a ‘deviant’ and ‘pervert’ by fellow actors Phil Hartman and Soupy Sales.
The fallout was swift and unforgiving: CBS dropped syndication of his beloved children’s program, and Reubens became an object of ridicule in the tabloids.
The documentary goes on to explore not only the controversies but also the artistry that defined Reubens’ life, celebrating his ingenuity and creativity, which captivated audiences for decades, despite his personal life becoming the subject of relentless scrutiny.
After his 1991 arrest, he would spend the decade playing primarily non-Pee-wee characters, including roles in Burton’s 1992 movie ‘Batman Returns,’ the ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ film and a guest-star run on the TV series ‘Murphy Brown.’
He also appeared in the 1999 comedy film ‘Mystery Men’ and Johnny Depp’s 2001 drug-dealer drama ‘Blow.’
Reubens – who never lost his boyish appearance even in his 60s, would slowly re-introduce Pee-wee, eventually doing a Broadway adaptation of ‘The Pee-wee Herman Show’ in 2010, and the 2016 Netflix movie.
His made his final on-screen appearance during a cameo in Hulu’s Quiz Lady.
