The Barefoot Investor has dished out some tough love to a mother frustrated by her 30-year-old son’s lack of gratitude after she gave him a car.
Fed-up mum Lesley wrote to Scott Pape, describing her son as a ‘disaster’.
She explained that when he turned 18, she gave up the very first car she ever owned so he could enjoy some freedom and independence.
‘It was a great little car with full service records and a reliable mechanic,’ she wrote in her letter, published in his weekly newsletter.
But five years later, her son dismissed the car as ‘a hunk of junk’. Lesley reminded him: ‘It wasn’t junk when I gave it to you.’
Now, after buying his third cheap car, Lesley said her son is ‘heavily hinting’ that she should hand over her current Mercedes – a car worth less than $10,000.
Lesley told the Barefoot Investor she had no intention of giving him the Mercedes, but admitted her son’s ingratitude had ‘robbed her of the joy of giving’ and begged for his advice.
‘He hasn’t asked outright, but the hints are constant,’ Lesley wrote.
Fed-up mum Lesley explained her ‘disaster’ son has been hinting for her to hand over her Mercedes (stock image)
In his reply, Scott Pape (pictured) told Lesley she needed to set boundaries and that her son was ungrateful has he did not appreciate the value of things since he was gifted his first car
‘After years of ingratitude and fleeting thanks, there’s no way I’m handing it over. I’ve learned my lesson.
‘But here’s what hurts: I no longer feel joy in giving. I’m scared of being taken advantage of again.’
In his reply, Mr Pape explained the issue was not a ‘son thing’ but a human experience, claiming people do not value an item they have not earned.
‘You gave him your beloved first car, filled with memories and sacrifice. To him, it was just… free,’ Mr Pape wrote.
‘That stings. But it doesn’t mean he’s ungrateful about everything. It just means your giving needs boundaries.’
Mr Pape advised Lesley to kindly but firmly shut down the idea of handing over her Mercedes to her son the next time he decides to hint at getting the vehicle.
‘About the Merc? Next time he hints, shut it down kindly but firmly: ‘Mate, I’m keeping it. You’ll value your next car more if you buy it yourself.’,’ Pape wrote.
‘Don’t let his hints rob you of your joy in giving to others who appreciate it. The best things in life are earned – and that’s a lesson he still needs to learn.’
