The splendure of the Grade II-listed Royal Lodge will have felt a world away when the heavy police cell door clinked shut behind Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor as he checked in to his far less ostentatious new digs today.
The 30-room mansion in Windsor Great Park? Long gone. The staff waiting on hand and foot? A distant memory.
Perhaps a birthday cake or some other small gesture to mark one’s latest orbit around the sun? Not a snowball’s chance.
Instead, the former Duke of York spent the majority of his 66th birthday holed up in police custody.
‘It’ll be no bigger than a box-room in a three-bed semi,’ retired Met Police sergeant Graham Wettone, author of How To Be A Police Officer, told the Daily Mail.
‘There’s no facility for any preferential treatment in any custody suite I’ve ever been in.
‘You can’t have an upgraded room, you can’t get upgraded meals – you get what’s there. Microwaved.’
Andrew was arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office shortly after 8am when police descended on Wood Farm in Sandringham, Norfolk, where he has spent the last fortnight living.
Unmarked Police vehicles exit the gates of the Royal Lodge this afternoon after carrying out searches at two properties linked to Andrew
He would have been bundled into a police car and driven to an unspecified location for questioning.
The countdown clock will have started the moment Andrew arrived at the police station.
First, he would have been brought before the custody sergeant at the police station.
The arresting officer would have explained the reason for arrest: on suspicion of misconduct in public office.
Andrew would have heard the officer state the time of arrest and the location.
‘Do you understand why you have been arrested?’ Andrew will have been asked.
He will then have been read his rights – the right to a solicitor and free legal advice, and to have somebody informed of his arrest.
This is often a next-of-kin. Though given his detention was headline news the world over within moments of it happening, it is perhaps hard to imagine anyone unaware of Andrew’s temporary incarceration.
Andrew will have been entitled to speak with the duty solicitor, if he was unable to summon his own counsel.
Then he would have been searched and given a medical and welfare assessment.
While those with endless pots of money may assume this involves hours spent in the company of one of Harley Street’s finest, the police station equivalent is more rudimentary.
Andrew will have been asked if he takes medication, has any physical problems, and asked a series of questions by the custody officer about whether he has any mental health issues.
He will have also been ‘thoroughly’ searched, although he would unlikely have been strip searched due to the nature of the offence he was arrested on suspicion of.
He would have likely had any belts, ties and shoe laces confiscated, for his own protection and that of police staff.
‘Even if they pose no risk, I took the shoelaces off every single person in custody when I was a custody officer,’ said Mr Wettone.
‘If you haven’t met them before, they are in the box of being an unknown risk.
‘The only risk you can assess is because of their answers to you, which might not be true.’
While some suspects are ordered to take off their clothes and change into a paper suit, Mr Wettone said Andrew would not likely have been required to do so because forensic evidence would not have been required in this case.
Next: refreshments.
Royal biographer Andrew Lownie once remarked how Andrew marked his 40th birthday celebration in 2000 with a £30,000 bash, featuring video messages from the likes of Elton John, and canapes dotted around models of ships.
Yesterday, the fare at the unnamed police station would have been decidedly less grand. Some goes for the company.
After being offered a plastic cup of water or perhaps some builder’s tea, he will have been led to a cell where he would have been provided with food.
A group of police officers in plain clothes arrive at Wood Farm this morning, where searches began
A convoy of three police officers arrive to help with the search of Andrew’s former home, Royal Lodge, Windsor
This would likely have been something microwavable – although Andrew, like all suspects in custody, will have had the option to have something brought in to him from outside, subject to the approval of the custody sergeant.
The cell itself would have been bare.
‘He’s got a toilet and a mattress on the bed. There’s nothing in there at all,’ said Mr Wettone.
The bed is actually a bench, about knee high, with a vinyl-covered mattress about three inches thick. He will also have been given a blue blanket to keep warm.
The toilet will be obscured by a half-height wall offering only a modicum of privacy – although modern custody suites have CCTV in them anyway.
Then the heavy door will have slammed shut behind him.
‘They make a huge, loud bang when they go across,’ Mr Wettone said.
As for company – there is none.
‘It’s a lonely experience,’ said Mr Wettone.
‘It’s quite levelling, because the door slams and you’re in there on your own, four walls to look at.
‘There’s no entertainment or anything.
‘You haven’t got your phone with you. You’ve normally got nothing to read apart from the Codes of Practice if you want something to read.
‘The cells are bare, nothing at all. You are sitting there in just your clothes.’
That solitude will have been broken when Andrew would have been summoned to be interviewed.
He will have had the opportunity for a consulation with his lawyer, and then the investigating officers will have joined them for the interview.
Most new suites are fitted with cameras now – as often depicted in the acclaimed Channel 4 series 24 Hours In Police Custody.
It means few suspects hear the ‘click’ of a cassette player denoting the interview being recorded.
Andrew will have been cautioned, he will then be asked to introduce himself for the tape.
Some defendants then offer no comment during the interogation, sing like a canary, or offer a prepared statement outlining their position.
When the interview concluded, Andrew will have spent his remaining time in custody back in the cell.
A suspect is then either charged, released on bail, or released with no further action.
It is then routine for those released from custody to make their own way home.
‘We’re not a taxi service,’ Mr Wettone said.
Given the fame of their suspect yesterday, would those encountering Andrew have marked his birthday in some way?
‘Not at all – no cake, no card,’ said Mr Wettone.
‘There might be a passing recognition on booking in when asked for his date of birth.
‘But I doubt though this was a time for levity or humour.’
