A pastor has come under heavy criticism online after sharing a story during a church service about how he prevented his wife from pursuing her dream of studying abroad.
In a now-viral clip, the pastor recounted that when he met his wife, she had always aspired to study medicine overseas, despite already holding a degree in microbiology.
According to him, she was so committed to the dream that many of her passwords included the title “doctor.”
He explained that after two years of marriage, his wife approached him again, asking for permission to undertake a two- or three-year master’s program abroad while he remained in Nigeria.
The pastor said he rejected the idea, questioning why a married woman would want to leave her husband for such a long period.
He went on to say that she eventually settled for an online program with the University of London, completing the course from Egbeda.
The pastor then used the story to argue that marriage is at best a distraction, claiming that certain dreams must be abandoned once a person becomes married.
“There are some dreams and desires that if you don’t achieve them before marriage, forget about it; you can’t achieve them again. In marriage, you lose your personal freedom and autonomy. You can’t wake up one morning and make a major decision on your one anymore because your decision directly affects the other person. You will have to sit down and decide together.” He said
The remarks drew swift condemnation across social media, with many users accusing the pastor of controlling behavior and using religion to justify the suppression of his wife’s ambitions. Others argued that his message sends a harmful signal about marriage, individual growth, and women’s rights.
