File photo of a woman domestically abused
In a deeply emotional and startling revelation, the wife of a high-ranking pastor from one of Ghana’s most influential Pentecostal churches has opened up about the distressing and unusual dynamics within her marriage, raising serious concerns about emotional neglect, sexual health, and the hidden struggles faced by some women behind the church pulpit.
Married for several years to a man widely respected for his spiritual leadership and discipline, the woman, whose identity remains protected, shared her story on TV3’s Confessions programme.
What began as a dream relationship, she said, has gradually turned into a source of deep frustration and unhappiness.
“I have a husband who is a pastor of one of the biggest Pentecostal churches. We dated for two years without sex. But in my head, I felt maybe he wasn’t manly enough, that’s why he made that decision. One day, during one of his visits to my place, I decided to romance him just to see if he was really manly. Trust me, I liked what I saw. Every woman would have liked it. It was very huge and long. So I said to myself, ‘This man is for me.’ I was so proud of him—because if you are that long and still have self-control, then I must be the luckiest lady who’s going to enjoy everything.”
According to her, problems began immediately after their wedding when her husband rejected a simple request: her desire to take a shower before intimacy.
“So, three years into our dating, we got married. On our wedding night, we didn’t do anything because we were so tired. The next day, we promised ourselves it would happen. After the thanksgiving service, we returned to our hotel and I quickly wanted to take a shower because I was sweaty from all the dancing. But he told me not to bathe because he likes it ‘dirty’. In my head, I thought, how can someone like it that way? I was sweaty. But after going back and forth, I gave in and let him do what he wanted. Honestly, ever since that moment, I haven’t been happy in my marriage.”
She revealed that her husband has repeatedly insisted that she neither bathe nor shave before sex—a demand that has since become a daily rule in their marriage.
“Would you believe me if I told you I haven’t shaved since we got married? Every morning, he tells me not to shave before he goes to work. And when he wants to have sex, he tells me not to take a bath that entire day. So if he wants it today, it means I can’t bathe all day. It has been extremely frustrating. I don’t know if this is normal. I’ve been treating yeast infections repeatedly, and he doesn’t even care. Whether I have an infection or not, he will still lick it clean before penetrating. Because of how bushy it is, it becomes painful when he tries to do what he wants to do.”
The woman says she now feels emotionally trapped and physically worn out—caught between keeping up appearances as a pastor’s wife and silently suffering behind closed doors.
KA
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