The mayor of one of North Dakota‘s largest cities was forced to resign in disgrace after he accidentally sent an X-rated video meant for his girlfriend to the city’s attorney.
Tom Ross, 60, handed in his resignation as the Mayor of Minot – the state’s fourth-largest city with a population of 50,000 – on Tuesday as disturbing details about the message he sent City Attorney Stefanie Stalheim, 40, on January 14 emerged.
The two had just spoken by phone about a police officer under investigation who had died by suicide when Ross accidentally sent Stalheim a video message of him masturbating, the Daily Beast reports.
The city attorney was still in a room with two Human Resources professionals when she received it.
When she then went to delete the video, she saw a thumbnail showing an erect penis, and decided she was too distraught to delete it herself, according to the report.
She instead handed her phone to Monica Porterfield, an HR representative for the city, who deleted the video – but wound up accidentally viewing a part of it in the process, KFYR reports.
During an ensuing investigation, Ross said he was at home on his lunch break when he took the video – which he insists he meant to send to his girlfriend, whose name begins with a ‘C,’ but accidentally clicked the contact labeled ‘City Attorney,’ the investigative report says.
The mayor quickly recognized his mistake and just about three minutes after he sent the video of him pleasuring himself, he called Stalheim, asking her to delete the video and not to view it.
Tom Ross, 60, handed in his resignation as the Mayor of Minot – the state’s fourth-largest city with a population of 50,000 – on Tuesday
It came just hours after a damning report detailed the disturbing video he sent City Attorney Stefanie Stalheim, 40
He also allegedly asked the city attorney to keep the matter between themselves, but when he described the ‘sexy video’ he made for his girlfriend, Stalheim ‘physically collapsed and fell out of her chair’ due to the ‘combined stress’ of receiving the video as she was still processing the cop’s death.
For weeks afterward, Stalheim was unsure whether to report her boss for the incident as she told investigators she became ‘extremely uncomfortable interacting with him’ in the aftermath.
When she finally filed the incident report, city officials decided to employ Sambor & Law Consulting PC to conduct an independent investigation.
Over the ensuing weeks, investigators spoke to several city employees – including the mayor, who they said ultimately admitted to taking the video.
‘Ross said that he and his partner had been discussing an upcoming date and that the video was intended to be sent to his partner in a flirtatious manner to express excitement about the date and connection and intimacy toward his partner,’ the report says, according to KX News.
It goes on to note that Ross adamantly denied the video was ever meant for the city attorney as he expressed his desire that the incident be handled internally.
‘He viewed his request to the employee to refrain from opening the video as appropriate immediate corrective action, which minimized or resolved the issue,’ the report notes.
But Christina Sambor ultimately determined that Ross’ decision to use a personal cellphone to conduct city business and the fact that he would use that phone to record and send explicit videos was reckless.
In his resignation letter, Ross claimed it has been difficult to be a full-time mayor and hold down a full-time job while also trying to be a family man
She declared that the mayor knew the risk he was taking by engaging in such behavior.
She also noted that Ross’ request that Stalheim keep the matter between themselves and delete the video was not an appropriate request on the part of a supervisor to a supervisee, and was not in line with the city’s harassment policy.
It also placed Stalheim in an unnecessarily difficult position, Sambor determined.
Just hours after the report was published, Ross sent city council members his resignation letter.
‘Holding a full-time job while trying to be a full-time mayor and putting my family behind my job and elected position has taken a toll on me, mentally and physically,’ wrote Ross, a father-of-three who also serves as the executive director of an assisted living facility.
‘I have tried to be too much to too many people. I failed,’ the disgraced mayor continued.
He added that he has had ‘a professional and respectful relationship with every City of Minot staff member that I have come across. I am proud of that.’
‘Unfortunately, I have let them down as a leader, as I have with many in our community.’
City Council President Mark Jantzer will now assume the duties of the mayor for the next 15 days.
Council members also unanimously approved a motion on Tuesday indicating their desire to eventually appoint a current council member to fulfill Ross’ remaining term, which runs through June 2026.
They would then also have to appoint a new city council member.
