A single mother has revealed how her two daughters encouraged her to try sex toys after her marriage of 25 years broke down – before she went on to enjoy a ‘year of fun’ sleeping with up to a dozen different men.
Kate Harvey, a mother-of-three from Melbourne who owns two successful businesses, opened up about her ‘mid-life sexual awakening’ after divorcing her husband of 25 years when she found out he was having an affair.
Ms Harvey candidly shared that her husband was the only person she’d slept with at the age of 50 but within the past year she had had several intimate partners.
She was on her way to work in 2019 when she received a call from an unknown man telling her her husband was having an affair with his partner – and sent her a screenshot of an email to prove it.
After initially thinking it was a case of mistaken identity, Ms Harvey scoured through her husband’s laptop and found he’d created an account on Ashley Madison – a dating website for married people – and had spoken to numerous women.
Kate Harvey, a mother-of-three from Melbourne, has recently opened up about her ‘mid-life sexual awakening’ after divorcing her husband of 25 years upon finding out he’d been having an affair
‘I found his profile. He’d been talking to hundreds of women and dated a few of them. He had a whole history of it,’ she told Mamma Mia.
Ms Harvey met her husband while working in the UK at the age of 18, and said she ‘could have sworn black and blue’ that he would never have cheated.
The pair eventually separated and her husband moved out in September, 2019.
Ms Harvey, now 51, spent the next two-and-a-half years focusing on herself, and helping her children through the trauma of her marriage breakdown.
It was then that her daughters, who were aged 25 and 18, questioned if she wanted to date again.
‘And I said, ”Look, I don’t actually need a partner to feel better. I’m already feeling better.” And – having full and frank conversations – I said, ”I miss the sex but I don’t want to interact with men right now. They’re not on my lists of favourites”,’ Ms Harvey said.
Ms Harvey revealed her daughters suggested she try sex toys when she found herself single for the first time in 30 years after the breakdown of her marriage
Her daughters then recommended she give sex toys a go.
‘They said, ”Mum, you should try toys because it’s much more open these days with young people and we all talk about it, we have them, so you should give it a go”.
‘That night, they talked to me about their favourite ones and we did some surfing online.’
Ms Harvey then slowly came around to the idea of dating again and dove into the pool of dating apps.
During an appearance on SBS’ Insight this week, Ms Harvey revealed that she no longer has a desire for monogamous relationships and is enjoying spending time with her ‘friends with benefits’.
She said that in January last year she’d slept with just one man – her husband – and by December that number was between ten or 12.
‘I stopped counting after a while,’ she said on the program.
While some of her ‘friends with benefits’ came from dating apps, she’s met others in real life.
‘The youngest I’ve slept with was 28 and the oldest was 48,’ Ms Harvey said.
‘My sweet spot is 38 to 44 (years old).’
Ms Harvey said that because she’d spent time working on herself, she felt confident meeting new people and said she’d been with men whom she could have ever only ‘dreamed’ of being with before.
During an appearance on SBS’ Insight this week, Ms Harvey revealed that she no longer has a desire for monogamous relationships and is enjoying spending time with her ‘friends with benefits’
She said while her sexual relationship with her husband was ‘fun and fulfilling at times’, she was now focusing on things she wanted to explore.
‘Things like rough play and role play and using toys more and all of these things which is a difficult conversation to have with someone you’re in a long-term relationship with,’ she said on Insight.
‘The younger guys are quite fit so they can pick you up and push you against the wall and throw you on the bed.
‘In my personal and professional life I’m the one in charge so it’s lovely to give up that control and just be controlled and dominated.’
Although not everyone has been as open to Ms Harvey’s lifestyle, with the mother admitting she’s lost friends who haven’t been as supportive.